Once More Out Of Character
by The Blue Fairy
Summary: A mystical demon visits Brass Castle causing its inhabitants to burst out into song. This is a Parody. Please RR


**Once More Out Of Character**  
_By The Blue Fairy_  
  
**Disclaimers:** I do not own Suikoden. I repeat, I do not own Suikoden. Konami does (those jerks). As for Buffy the Vampire slayer, she belongs to Mutant Enemy and Joss Whedon. So, please, for the love of puppies and Christmas do not sue me. You won't get much. Maybe a pineapple, and that's if you are lucky.  
  
**Authors Notes:** Okay, first I must tell you that this is a Suikoden III PARODY based on the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer "Once More With Feeling." With the introduction of each of the characters in the story I will make footnotes on the bottom of each act to explain why the character was chosen for the part. There are some that will definitely be a "WTF, mate?" moments, trust me.  
  
This is also part satire. So please don't take it too seriously.  
  
**PROLOGUE – Going Through The Fiction**  
  
It was a cold night at Brass Castle. The wind whistled its eternal melody as the night nipped at the form of the Chris Lightfellow, captain of the Zexen Knights. Tonight was her night to patrol the grounds along the bridge. A job that was usually dealt to those who were lesser in rank, but Chris needed to clear her head. She walked along with the sound of her armor clanking. Chris looked up at the night's air anxiously and headed towards the end of the bridge, and suddenly... she sings!  
  
**CHRIS**  
_Every single fic the same arrangement  
I go out and fight the fight  
Still I always feel this strange estrangement  
My characterization isn't real, nothing here is right_  
  
A bandit jumps out of the foliage at the end of the bridge and rushes towards Chris with his sword drawn. Ever the powerful captain, Chris spins him around and continues with her song.

**CHRIS**  
_ I've been making shows  
Of trading woes  
Just hoping no one knows  
That I'm just going through the fiction  
Playing out this part  
_  
Without much effort Chris removed her sword from it sheath and gutted the bandit before her without batting an eye.  
  
**CHRIS  
** _Everything seems to penetrate my heart  
I am always cold, and king of righteous  
Now I find I'm changing  
_  
The bandit that Chris had just put out of his bandit misery was not alone. Two more cannon fodder dressed bandits appeared with their leader tailing behind them. The bandit leader tossed his random captive to the ground.  
  
**CHRIS**  
_ Crawl into this castle  
You'll find this fight  
Just changes everything  
_  
**BANDIT A.  
** _She ain't got that swing_  
  
The Bandit punches Chris in the face, while his comrade manages to wound the knight with his dagger. Chris falls to the ground and lies on her back, in a bit of pain.  
  
**CHRIS**  
_Thanks for noticing...  
_  
Chris continues to lie there as the bandits begin to break out into a song and dance number.  
  
**BANDITS**  
_ She does pretty well  
With fics from hell  
But lately we can tell  
That she's just going through the fiction  
_  
Chris, slightly annoyed, stands up and pulls Bandit A away from the others. Decapitating him with much ease.  
  
**BANDIT B**  
_Faking it somehow...  
_  
Chris pushes Bandit B aside and stabs the bandit leader.  
  
**BANDIT LEADER**  
_She's not even half the girl she... Ow.._  
  
Chris watches as the leader falls over clutching his wound, and she walks over to where he left his prisoner.  
  
**CHRIS**  
_Will I stay this way forever?  
Sleepwalk through my life's endeavor?_  
  
Chris frees the prisoner with one kick swing of her sword.  
  
**HANDSOME PRISONER**  
_How Can I Repay...?  
_  
**CHRIS**  
_... Never.  
_  
Chris turns away from him and continues back to the castle.  
  
**CHRIS**  
_I don't want to be..._  
  
Dramatically Chris stands in the middle of the bridge and strikes a pose.  
  
**CHRIS  
** _ Going through the fiction  
Losing all my drive  
I don't even see...  
How this is really me...  
And I just wanna be..._  
  
Chris whirls around as the last bandit approaches her and stabs him.  
  
** CHRIS**  
Oh where was I... Oh yes...  
_ALIVE!!!!_

* * *

**Footnotes:**

Now, one could easily assume why Chris Lightfellow was chosen to fill in Buffy's shoes. She is a strong female type who could whip you six ways from Sunday. Out of all the characters she also made the most sense to cast as Buffy. Since, if you can't tell, I'm using the Zexen Knights as the "Scooby Gang." So its pivotal that Chris be the centric figure.

Please read and review. This is my first Suikoden Fic and I would like opinions. Thank you for your time. 


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